It’s the night before Trevor’s second birthday party. Tru is asleep for the night, the house is still, and Chris and I begin the work of preparing for the party.
I tape the choo-choo train banner to the kitchen cabinet as Chris holds it in place. Was it really one full year ago we did this exact thing in this exact spot?
I cut open the bag of multi-colored Mickey ears confetti and scatter it across the countertop. Trevor has grown so strong and fast on his feet, I have to hide the scissors in a spot high off the ground. The days when my shoulders ached from holding him all day. They are just a memory now.
Chris asks what’s bothering me when I try to pick a fight with him over the way he’s smoothed the white tablecloth. I say I’m sorry, I must just be worn out from a long week.
I think about Trevor’s way of taking my hand into his when he wants to show me something.
That warm little hand – impossibly soft, impossibly tiny.
I notice my throat closing in as I set out his “I Am Two” birthday mouse ears. I’m not sure if he’ll wear them or refuse them. He’s old enough to have strong opinions in these matters now.
His tiny little hand in mine.
As I set out the paper plates, my mind plays before me a scene of my future son – his hand fully grown and dwarfing my own – waving goodbye from his college dorm room as I get into the car to drive home without him.
Finally, the floodgates open and the truth I’m afraid to confront is drowning me.
I’m weeping into Chris’ arms with heavy, aching sobs. “He’ll leave me one day! He can’t leave me! Don’t leave me Tru! Don’t leave me! Don’t leeeeeeeeave me Truuuuuuu!”
And I thought 2-year-olds were supposed to be the dramatic ones! View Post
So Trevor’s second Halloween turned out quite eery and spooky (very fitting)!
It all started when we got a big storm with winds so strong they knocked down trees all up and down our street.
It looked like a hurricane had whipped through, and we lost power for about 60 hours in total (!) This power outage just so happened to include Halloween day and night.
So our entire street was plunged into complete darkness – literally – for trick-or-treating.
It was kind of a bummer because I thought maybe we’d walk to a few of the neighbors homes this year so Trevor could show off his costume… View Post
Some days – many days – I wake up to a very unhappy, wailing baby, then stub my toe in the bathroom, then spill milk all over my freshly washed shirt. And then the day goes on from there like my own personal comedy of errors.
But then there are those (rare) days – the ones I live for – where everything just lines up and the day unfolds with one stroke of luck after the next.
For whatever reason (I wish I knew!), those easy, perfect days seem to happen most when I travel. And we definitely lucked out and got one of those days when we went to Castle in the Clouds. View Post
It’s so funny. While I was pregnant with Tru, I worked so hard to come up with all the important things I’d need to teach him. I made Amazon shopping lists of children’s books. I read about activities and games to help develop a baby’s brain. I researched the best enrichment toys. Then Tru was born and I quickly learned I shouldn’t have worked so hard.
Trevor would be teaching me.
One lesson Tru has taught me well: how much magic there is in the unplanned moments.
To explain, let’s see if I can take you to our first evening in Boothbay Harbor, Maine:
Chris and I are sitting on our hotel room’s white-washed cedar porch, gazing at the most serene ocean I could imagine. The day is clear, but the mid-September breeze is chilly. I hold Trevor tighter and pull my sweatshirt hood over my windblown hair.
It’s our first weekend getaway since Trevor was born last February. Our days have been a blur of sleepless nights, piles of laundry, and endless strolls down the aisles of Babies ‘R’ Us. But now we’re sitting in complete calm, gazing out over a wide expanse of gentle waves.
I’m awed as the tranquil blue sky suddenly explodes into a vivid show-off of pinks and oranges. Pre-baby – with actual time on my hands! – I would have checked weather forecasts and made schedules to precisely plan a moment like this. But with Tru’s endless diapers and feedings and insatiable need to be held, I am pretty much winging this trip.
And I’m learning that’s okay. This moment is even better the way it’s unfolding now, as a complete surprise.
There’s going to be an incredible sunset over the ocean, and the show’s happening right beyond our front porch… View Post
We didn’t make it too far into the dreariest, grayest month of the year – November – before our wanderlust came on as strong as ever.
We thought – especially with it being Trevor’s first Christmas – that we should set our sights on a city that gets really decked out and festive for the holiday season.
We did some Google searches and landed on Quebec City.
Then we did some calculations. The city is about a five-hour drive from Chris’ parents house. Five hours, we figured, would be a difficult drive, but (hopefully!) a doable drive with a 9-month-old.
So we booked our hotel, crossed our fingers, and headed north to Canada! View Post
I remember the very best time to photograph Trevor, and it was when he was about 5 months old.
He was old enough to roll around and hold his head up, but not yet strong enough to crawl. View Post
There’s an important lesson that all new parents must learn, and learn quickly: little ones are very early risers.
They are very early risers for seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, for years on end.
That’s why I’ve had only one dream since Trevor’s first weeks of life.
Just to sleep in.
For even one morning.
To wake up whenever I happen to wake up.
To sit up for a minute and yawn and stretch and then fall back into the pillows, totally relaxed.
To hardly even care if I drift off again for twenty minutes more, because I’m in no hurry and have nothing pressing to do.
I had this opportunity to “sleep in” on many, many weekend mornings before Tru, and I never realized that I was enjoying a wonderful, blissful luxury.
Well, I realize it now.
And it looked like my dream might come true when my parents offered to watch Trevor for a weekend. View Post